PATRIOTIC & 4TH OF JULY T-SHIRTS – RED, WHITE & TWISTED

This isn’t just a collection. This is George Washington crawling out of his grave in jean shorts, slamming a Monster, and lighting a bottle rocket with his wooden teeth. This is America distilled into cotton so glorious it could probably qualify as a state on its own.

You want subtle? Wrong country, buddy. These shirts are louder than a bald eagle screaming into a megaphone on top of a lifted F-150. Back to Back World War Champs will make your history teacher proud, Because America, That’s Why is the only excuse you’ll ever need, and 1776% Alcohol by Volume will have the Founding Fathers shotgunning Busch Lights in your honor.

Need something for the cookout? Grill Sergeant takes command of the burgers while Got Buns Hun keeps the whole thing PG-13 (barely). Fireworks your love language? Just Here to Bang is basically the Declaration of Dependence on poor life choices, and Star Spangled Hammered hits harder than Uncle Sam’s hangover on July 5th.

But wait—there’s more freedom. Founding Daddy makes George Washington look like he invented drip, Spilling the Tea Since 1773 lets you flex your tax-free energy, and Suck It England is still the single greatest breakup text ever sent. Feeling cinematic? Throw on Maverick Helmet or Iceman Helmet and hum the Top Gun theme until the neighbors call the cops (which, by the way, is also very American).

And if you think we stopped there—lol, no. Picture this: Thomas Jefferson DJing a monster truck rally, Ben Franklin double-fisting corndogs, Hamilton dropping diss tracks at karaoke, and Washington crowd-surfing over a kiddie pool full of Bud Light. That’s the energy sewn into every stitch of this collection. Costco bulk freedom. NASCAR horsepower. Fireworks you can hear in Canada.

So here’s the bottom line: these shirts aren’t clothes, they’re an experience. They belong at lakes, parades, BBQs, beer pong tables, and anywhere else freedom gets weird. Printed in the USA, shipped fast, and guaranteed to make a bald eagle fist-bump you in the 7-Eleven parking lot.

So buy a shirt, crack a beer, and remember: freedom may ring, but here at Twisted Gorilla, it also shotguns. God bless America, and God bless your torso.