CHRISTMAS & HOLIDAY T-SHIRTS – NOSTALGIC, NAUGHTY & NICE(ISH)

Deck the halls, spike the nog, and loosen that belt — Christmas is here, and we’ve got the gear that’ll make you the best-dressed elf, Scrooge, or full-blown Cousin Eddie at the party. Forget itchy sweaters. This year, funny Christmas shirts are the real tradition.

Our collection is stacked higher than Clark Griswold’s electric bill. You Serious Clark? and Why Is the Carpet All Wet Todd? keep the family quoting Christmas Vacation all dinner long, while Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal and The Wet Bandits guarantee Home Alone-level chaos. For those who insist Die Hard is a Christmas movie (it is), nothing says festive like Nakatomi Christmas Party 1988 or Now I Have a Machine Gun Ho Ho Ho.

Of course, Santa’s not getting out of this one. Big Nick Energy, Nice Package, and I Put Out for Santa are guaranteed to land you on the naughty list faster than Rudolph on Red Bull. If your humor runs extra spicy, It’s Not Gonna Lick Itselfand Well Hung are holiday classics you won’t find in Grandma’s closet. And for the wholesome crowd? Don’t worry — Smiling’s My Favorite, Son of a Nutcracker, and Buddy’s 4 Main Food Groups bring the Elf vibes without the HR violations.

Not feeling jolly? Bah Humbug has your back. Want something ironically festive? Merry Chrysler or Gangsta Wrapperdo the trick. And if you’re living that Netflix-and-Hallmark lifestyle, Bake Cookies & Watch Hallmark Movies is basically your holiday uniform until January.

We’ve also got the deep cuts for movie nerds: Kenosha Kickers for the true Polka Kings, Cousin Eddie’s RV Service for anyone with a hose and bad ideas, Buzz, Your Girlfriend, Woof! for the savage gift exchange crowd, and McCallister’s Home Security for keeping burglars at bay (tarantula not included).

And because holidays aren’t just about Christmas, we didn’t forget Hanukkah. Dr. Dreidel spins harder than a DJ set, while Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us proves Seinfeld gave us the best holiday we never asked for. Eight crazy nights, one hilarious wardrobe.

Bottom line: sweaters are scratchy, eggnog curdles, and mistletoe gets awkward fast. But these shirts? They’re forever. Wear them to family dinners, office parties, Friendsgivings-that-turned-Christmas, or while you’re raiding stockings at 3 a.m. in stretchy pants.

So grab a shirt, pour another drink, and remember: Santa sees you when you’re sleeping, but he definitely didn’t see this one coming.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals — now go buy a shirt.